Toddlers and a New Baby

A new baby in the family can cause a major upheaval in the life of a toddler. No matter how excited they may seem before the baby arrives, that isn’t always how they feel once their new brother or sister appears.

What you can do before the birth

  • Talk to your toddler about the new baby. Take them to antenatal appointments, so that they feel as involved as possible.
  • Read stories about babies together.
  • Take them shopping for baby clothes/bottles/blankets (it may be an idea to buy a small item for them too, to avoid jealousy). Perhaps they could help you choose some things. You could let them choose a present for the new baby from them.
  • And of course get them a present from the baby!
  • Tell them how special they are and how they always will be.

What to do when the baby is here:

  • Let your child visit you in hospital. Make a big fuss of them.
  • Ask visitors to pay your child lots of attention before they look at the baby.
  • Make time for your toddler. Spend time together when the baby is sleeping.
  • When you are feeding your baby, have a supply of books within reach to read with your toddler or sing songs together.
  • Get your tot a baby doll complete with a bottle, nappies and a buggy; so they can be like you, looking after their baby.
  • Keep to their normal routine as much as possible.
  • Accept help when it’s offered. Ask grandparents to look after the baby for an hour so you can spend some time with your toddler. Maybe Nan and Grandad could take your toddler on a trip out.
  • Remember the baby will probably seem very boring to your toddler. It won’t always be this way, so don’t feel bad about it.
  • Your child may revert to babyish behaviour. A toilet trained child may start wetting themselves or they may ask for a bottle or a dummy. Be patient, they will see this as a way of getting attention like the baby. Give lots of praise and cuddles.
  • Get your toddler to help where possible, could they pass the nappy and the baby wipes. Perhaps they could sing a song to the baby while you change the nappy. Tell them how helpful they are. But don’t push it if they don’t want to help.
  • Ignore negative behaviour where possible and praise the good.