Toddlers Coping with Separation and Divorce
When parents separate the most important issue is making the change as easy as possible for the children. By explaining things to your child in simple terms, you can make the whole process seem less confusing and scary.
How to explain
- Sit down with your child (together if you can). Remain calm and don’t put the blame on one party or the other. Try to be matter of fact, not emotional.
- Make sure the children understand it’s not their fault.
- Tell them that Mum and Dad love them very much and this will not change.
- Let them know how special they are to both of you.
- Give them a simple explanation of where both parents will live and where the child will be living. Explain that they will be able to go and stay with the other parent too.
- Read books about divorce with your toddler; such as “Two Homes” by Claire Masurel or “Dinosaurs Divorce” by Marc Brown, available from www.amazon.com
How to help your toddler adjust
- Don’t argue in front of the children.
- Be polite and respectful to each other (at least when the children are present).
- Both parents should see the children where possible.
- Don’t bad mouth each other in front of the children.
- Make the children’s rooms comfy and appealing in both houses.
- Try to keep grandparents and extended family involved with the children.
- Keep to routines as much as you can, so that they have some normality in their lives.
- Communicate with each other. Continue to parent as a team and back each other up on parenting decisions.
- Be prepared for regression and bad behaviour. Be patient and understand that this is their way of showing their feelings.
- Give lots of cuddles.
- Talk to your child. Give them chance to tell you how they are feeling.
